Thursday, February 28, 2008

It's here. Finally.

Well, it was real difficult to stick it out over that damn leap day, but we made it. Congratulations all! And some of us had to even stick it out one more day, as we were yucking it up in NH woods. Nick, TJ, Chris--I don't think we could have done that if we didn't do it together.

So as The Month gains momentum, I have been getting pressure from the NJ Chapter to create some "rules" regarding this festive time. I have even been asked to create or provide some sort of "guidance document" for MMM. Does such a thing even exist? Should it?

Should there be rules? Is MMM competitive? Or is even the suggestion of such requisite criteria an "an affront to the sacred follicular bonds which form the foundation of MARCH MOUSTACHE MADNESS"?
Of this there is debate.

On the one hand, March is a month in which the greatest tournament in sporting competition is played, and thus not participating in competition with our 'staches seems a little counterintuitive. On the other hand, some dudes (this guy) just cannot grow a competing 'stache. Others say that the beauty of the 'stache is in the eye of the beholder.

Let's put it to the floor. What do y'all think? Should our festival of 'stachitude be one of wager? Of strategy? Or should abide by the Constitution, and agree that all 'staches are created equal?
Do comment. We here at 'stache central want to hear your voice.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I dare you

Do a Google image search for "Burt Reynolds". The first pic is priceless. A man in all his mustachioed glory.

Just goes to show...

All the men below prove that one can sport a 'stache without looking like a "door-to-door used dildo salesman". (credit due to Aaron Merrill)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Great Mustaches in History

If you look in the mirror and think "aw shoot, this 'stache isn't going to do anything", well this is for you. Some of the greatest men in history have sported upper-lip hair, and you have to ask yourself, were they great men who had mustaches, or were they men whose mustaches' made them great?





MLK Jr. - Had a dream that no upper-lip would be bare.















Count Otto von Bismarck - Unified Germany, defeated Austrian Empire, defeated France when that was still a big deal, destroyed socialism in Central Europe. Thought razors were for the poor.















Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas - Has not asked a question during oral argument in over 142 consecutive cases, stretching back more than two years. Doesn't need to know. Just listens to his mustache.













Mohandas Ghandi - drove the British peacefully out of India by fasting, while secretly straining life-giving nutrients out of the air with his whiskers.



















Micheal Jordan - Those fancy follicles are solely responsible for titles 3, 4 and 6.


















Carey Grant - If you ask your grandmother, she will tell you she used to fantasize about riding that flavor savor. Gross but true.
















Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria - This mustache caused World War I. Look it up, it was big time.










And finally, my strongest argument for the greatness of facial accessories, Adam Morrison. In the time it took you to read this post, this face fur enabled a man who cried on national TV to get with foxy brunettes and earn the GDP of an Eastern European peasant. Without that peach fuzz, he's just a tall dude with diabetes.

Excuses, excuses

It appears that some men instinctively oppose the idea of improving their own happiness and confidence through the age old method of adding a little extra fluff under their nose.
Here are some of the latest excuses for not joining the Movement:
  • "Duberstein Moot Court Competition"--apparently, the idea here is that those upper echelon lawerly types frown upon, or at least are immune to, the mystique of the moustache. Bullshit! No one is immune.
  • "I can only grow the 'stache of a seventh-grade drug dealer"--this denier is confused, for the stature and prominence of your 'stache is not the issue here, man. Indeed, it may be that a 'stache in need of Miracle Grow is the creepiest of all, and thus is deserving of the fullest support from Madness constituents.
  • "Mine is blonde and red and never fills in"--You, my friend, are also in denial. A vast array of colors makes a 'stache unique, and therefore savory. This man will soon see the light.
  • "I have a vagina"--Touché. Be you male or female, it does take some amount of sack to grow and sport a new furry friend.
  • "I’ve already been threatened by wifey"--Rebel, young newlywed, rebel!! If you don't take action now, the future may be grim.
  • "I don't really have any clothes to match my 'stache"--Luckily Marden's and Goodwill are right down the street. Dig deep, come up with that $3, and go find yourself a nice wifebeater, some red flannel, and pair of shit-kickers.
  • "I look like a child pornographer"--Nice try. That's simply another benefit.
  • "I have been wearing this here beard for seventeen years"--Dude, the times they are a-changin'. Welcome to whatever year it is. Your 'stache is prime and ready to take the main stage. Shave that bird house and bring out a whole new side of you!
And these are just the excuses that I have heard in the past 30 minutes. Feel free to add more, as I certainly will as they come rolling in.

MAKE THIS YOUR HOMEPAGE

For the month of March (hell, why not begin today?), to fully support the Cause, make this blog your homepage. This way, each time you open your browser you will be reminded of the beauty of the 'stache, and how good it makes you feel to be sporting one. It may also give you some ideas on how to morph your 'stache into a creepier one, or maybe you just want to compliment someone else on the quality of their combing technique, or precision of their shave.
No matter how you use the blog, choosing it as your homepage is an important decision to support the month-long holiday. You do not have to be able to grow a 'stache, nor do you even have to have a penis, to show your full support. We are a team, and we each play our part.
Play yours, join the movement.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

6 DAYS LEFT.....


It's almost here; you can sense it in the air. As our upper lips dirty, we exude confidence at an equivalent rate. Ever since that time as 10-year olds when we were first truly creeped out, we have wondered, Will I ever be that creepy?
In less than a week, the annual month in which we can feel free to fulfill those dreams without ridicule, while enjoying College Basketball, will be upon us.

I implore you to use this blog to share your pleasures of participation, voices of support, and images of your imagination.